Moose Jaw -
You know what I love about summer? It's that amazingly awesome feeling one gets while walking outside and the sun beams down on one's bare skin, which somehow results in a sense of total satisfaction. The sun is amazing.
What is it about our solar system's central ball of perpetually exploding gas - burning at 5,778 Kelvin, with a mass equivalent to 332,946 Earths and creating energy by fusion of hydrogen nuclei into helium - that just seems to make one feel so good about everything?
It's the perfect complement to an ice-cold draft beer. It's the cheapest spa available. It sustains all life on this planet. No wonder ancient civilizations worshipped Ra - that guy was great.
Granted, there will come a day (approximately five billion years from now during the red giant phase) when our neighbourhood star expands 250 times its current size and in the process consumes the Earth within its fiery mass. However, chances are human life will have been long extinct by this point, so who cares?
The point I'm trying to make, during this our current stage of sol history, is that glorious giver of warmth and light is ideally positioned to make our summer months truly pleasurable and worth living.
Which is why I ask - why the heck won't Saskatchewanians get on board with the obviously and undeniably superior concept of daylight time?
I was talking with Mother on the phone Tuesday night. She lives in Paradise Valley, Alta. At one point in the conversation, she asked me, "So is it still light there?"
I looked out my apartment window and responded with a sigh, "It is not."
In response to this, Mom said, "Well it's still light here."
Since moving to this easy-to-draw province, I've come to appreciate much of the Saskatchewan way of life. For example, as an Albertan I'm still fascinated by this whole concept of a new political party actually winning a provincial election. Also, the price of car insurance here is much more appropriate than in Wild Rose Country.
But why do you all hate the sun so much?
Certainly, there are reasons (bad ones in my opinion) why people claim to detest the notion of adjusting clocks modestly as the weather gets warmer.
For example, many Saskatchewanians seem to dislike the notion of waking up an hour earlier every year. Speaking from personal experience, the time change only upsets one's sleeping cycle for a couple of days and the pain is minimal. Thus, I don't really acknowledge this as a legitimate concern.
Also, some Saskatchewanians seem to think it might be difficult to fall asleep if there is still daylight at 11 p.m. As someone afraid of the dark, this really isn't of concern to me (since I normally sleep with all the lights on anyway). However, for those who need utterly horrific blackness to lull them into dreamland, my Dad invented the perfect solution many years ago. Simply cover your windows with tinfoil.
Of course, there's the classic prairie argument against daylight time - that the cows won't know when to get milked. However, this too is a non-issue. Fortunately for dairy producers, cows are relatively stupid. They can't seem to avoid pooping on the very grass they eat, much less read a clock. My guess is if the farmer changes his or her own schedule (rather than force the cows to adopt daylight time), the cows won't notice.
I'm certain, my loyal readers, if you couldn't see the light before, then you do now. I have flawlessly shot down three standard arguments against daylight time.
In addition to my above mentioned enlightening logic, switching to the vastly superior daylight time system would allow local homeowners to mow their lawns until almost midnight and there would be that much more time to worship Ra (or any sun god for that matter) before bed. As well, the later summertime sunrise means bird enthusiasts could sleep in an hour later and still hear the predawn orgy of chirping madness.
In conclusion, people of Saskatchewan I implore you not to write off my illuminating opinion as the snobbish ramblings of a spoiled Albertan.
It's not like I'm asking you to further reduce your beloved Provincial Sales Tax or privatize the liquor board. All I'm asking is that you consider a system that squeezes every possible amount of pleasure out of our limited few weeks of summer, before everything goes dark and cold again.
Let the sunshine in . . . the sun shine in.
Carter Haydu can be reached at 691-1265.
