Mastering the art of the quick nap

It seems as the years pass and I slowly drift closer to death, I become more and more susceptible to that most unlabourous of human endeavour - napping.
My cat Spatz has perfected the napping craft. I'll watch her rest in that semi-unconscious relaxed-alert state particular to felines, wishing I could figure out how she manages to wake up so effortlessly.
Perhaps it's because I've never been much good at sleeping during the night, but it seems I cannot successfully enjoy a 20-minute nap without it turning into some four-hour REM-athon.
My naps always seem to start out the same way - I get home from work, eat supper, sit on the couch to watch a little TV, and suddenly I wake up at about 2 a.m. with those weird couch lines all over my face.
If napping is a post-youth art form, I suppose I've only just entered the early stages of the napping years, so I'll probably improve over time. My dad, for example, seems to be a fairly good napper.
It's not uncommon to stumble across Richard Haydu sitting on some park bench or movie theatre chair, his arms crossed and his moustachioed face happily slumbering into his chest. After a few minutes in this state, he can wake himself up with a quick snort and mosey on over to the next napping spot.
He makes it look so easy, but then again he is 61 years old and, in the world of napping, nearing the peak of his career. My guess is the trick, for both Dad and Spatz, is managing to maintain a certain degree of consciousness throughout the process to avoid an all out deep-sleep assault.
It's a knack I have yet to perfect. It seems I have two modes of mental being - on and off. I can't figure out how to set my internal light switch to dim.
Dr. Guruswamy Sridhar, medical director for the Regina Hospital sleep disorder clinic, told me some people have the knack for waking themselves up after a few minutes of napping, while other people simply don't. He said the only way to ensure a nap doesn't turn into a long sleep is to set an alarm clock.
According to the doctor, an ideal nap should last no longer than 30 minutes, otherwise the napper will fall into a deeper state of unconsciousness and start going through the various cycles of sleep, which can actually leave the individual more tired than if he or she didn't nap in the first place.
However, Sridhar doesn't want to deter napping, as he said the activity is quite beneficial to one's mental and physical state.
The urge to nap typically occurs about six-to-eight hours after a person awakes from night sleep. The circadian clock controls these urges, which is a 24-hour biochemical, physiological and socio-behavioural process in the human body.
Since the urge to nap typically indicates one's body is running a little low on energy, Sridhar said taking in a few minutes shut-eye can leave a person feeling alert and more productive. He added because we all live in a sleep-deprived society, most people feel stronger urges to nap as they get older.
Ergo, according to Sridhar my elderly father and cat are both (ironically) keeping themselves more alert by taking periodic sleeps at the same time most people are busy trying to stay awake in the name of "productivity." These people (and their work) might benefit from the wisdom of those who take a few lazy minutes to recuperate in the afternoon.
As for my own dilemma, I suppose setting the alarm clock before I take a nap might work, except for the fact I'm usually not planning my naps in advance. Maybe I should just concentrate on getting more sleep at night, although I certainly wouldn't want to quit napping altogether.
After all, aside from the physical benefits and despite the risks of falling into deep sleep, who doesn't simply really enjoy a good nap?
In the words of Ancient Roman poet Publius Ovidius Naso: "There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap - even of the briefest - than in all the alcohol ever distilled."

Carter Haydu can be reached at 691-1265.