In their own words

For chronic drug users, what they do every day revolves around their habit.
From finding money for drugs, to buying drugs to getting high, it's a never-ending, all-consuming process.
"They don't care about eating, working, going to school or friends and family," said Jana Horsnall, director of Personal Choices, a youth outreach centre in Moose Jaw.
"All that matters is getting high."
Drug abuse often leads to other crimes, such as theft, robbery, shoplifting and prostitution, which can catapult users further down the path of a destructive lifestyle.
"Most drugs are very addictive," said Insp. Tim Arnott of the Moose Jaw Police Service.
"As a result, people do whatever is required to satisfy their cravings."
Below, five people share their stories. Names have been changed by the Times-Herald to protect their identities.

Melissa: A cocaine addict's story
Nineteen-year-old Melissa started popping pills when she was 13.
The prescriptions ranged from Valium to Gravol to Restoril, (a type of sleeping pill) - whatever her stepmother was taking at the time.
"I would take all the ones that said, 'Do not take with alcohol' and drink them with my dad's beer," said Melissa.
At 14, she got into heavier medications, such as oxycodone and Demerol, as well as the illicit drug PCP (angel dust).
"I also drank every day," she said.
"I didn't care if I stank, if I wore the same clothes every day. I only stopped drinking when I was in jail or at the hospital because I had overdosed."
Shortly before her 17th birthday, Melissa's father introduced her to a new way to pay for her habit.
"I came home one day and he said 'We're out of food, we're out of tobacco and it would be nice to get a case of beer,'" she said.
"He said, 'There's a trick outside,' then started telling me how much a lay was, how much for the whole night and how much for head.
"At 15, I was sleeping with people to get drunk and high, but I don't think I realized it was really prostitution. I did it to get booze and drugs, but I didn't do it for money until (the night) my dad got me into it."
Ecstasy took centre stage in Melissa's life at 16, followed by cocaine and crack at 18.
She continued prostituting herself to get money, drugs and alcohol.
Finding men was easy, she said, adding customers ranged from truck drivers to local businessmen to newly-landed immigrants to a well-known lawyer from Regina.
"Usually, all I had to do was walk down the street and ugly, old perverts would drive by and say something," she said.
"It sucks now because tricks still bother me. It's hard to get away from my past in Moose Jaw because it's such a small town. I know so many girls who shared the same tricks as me."
Recently, Melissa found out she is pregnant and has spent the last few months trying to get away from her old lifestyle for the sake of her child.
Although she admits its been hard, Melissa said the key is staying away from the people and places linked to her drug use.
"I just don't put myself around those kind of people because I know I'd be tempted," she said.
"Even talking about smoking crack makes me want to use it."
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Bill: A methadone addict's story
Bill, 26, started drinking and smoking marijuana as a teenager in Moose Jaw.
He was prescribed morphine for a neck injury shortly before turning 20 and it didn't take long for him to become addicted.
"The doctor kept giving me prescriptions, but then he stopped (when he realized what was going on)," said Bill.
"I got a referral for methadone through Addiction Services and started taking that."
Daily trips to the pharmacy proved a hassle for Bill, who said the drug - a synthetic narcotic used to treat addiction to other narcotics - made him feel exhausted and lethargic.
"I didn't have enough energy to get off the couch, let alone work or go to school," he said.
When he missed or skipped a dose, Bill would go through horrible withdrawal symptoms, including excruciating pain throughout his entire body, nausea and cold sweats.
He started taking cocaine, Valium and other opiates while on methadone to maintain his high between doses, or increase it.
Bill, who had been kicked out of his parents' house, moved from couch to couch at his friends' homes, selling drugs to support his habit.
"I'm lucky I never got caught," he said. "It could've been much worse for me."
With the help of counsellors at Personal Choices, Bill went to the Angus Campbell detox centre and has been clean for five months.
He now has his own apartment and has even started working.
"My life is much better now," he said.
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Sarah: A crack addict's story
Sarah never wanted to "die alone, as a junkie," but that's almost what happened one night when, depressed while coming down from a crack high, she tried to slit her wrists and ended up in the mental health ward at a hospital.
A drug addict for almost 10 years, the 24-year-old from Calgary said hitting rock bottom was what finally prompted her to get clean.
At the time of her interview recently, Sarah had been sober for 143 days and counting.
"I lost everything," she said.
"I used to own a home, I was engaged, I had a daughter, but I gave that all up for stealing, prostitution and drugs."
Sarah started drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana "for fun" at 14 with some older boys she knew from school.
At 15, she tried cocaine. By 17, she accumulated a $200- to $500-a-day crack habit.
Since she wasn't working, Sarah stole money from her parents and grandmother to pay for drugs.
After finding out she was pregnant, Sarah got sober, got engaged to the baby's father, became a mother and started building a new life.
The lure of her addiction became too much when her fiancÉ had to go out of town to work and she started using cocaine again.
"At first, it was only on the weekends," she said.
"Then it became every day.
"I owed one gang member in Calgary quite a bit of money (for drugs). He called my fiancÉ and threatened to kill him and my baby if he didn't pay my debt, so my fiancÉ asked me to leave."
The baby's father got full custody of the child and Sarah spent the next two years on the streets, stealing and prostituting herself to pay for drugs.
She said most people don't realize how easily girls, and some boys, get into prostitution when drugs are involved.
"It's not prostitutes standing on a street corner anymore," said Sarah.
"Say your drug dealer wants a bl** job for five hoots of crack and you don't have any money.
"You might say no the first time, but when you run out of drugs and have no way to get more, suddenly a bl** job doesn't seem so bad."
Since waking up in the hospital after trying to kill herself, Sarah went through detox at the Angus Campbell Centre, got into counselling and has been attending two Narcotics Anonymous meetings a day.
"I've had no temptations, no desires," she said. "It's easy once you really want it."
Moose Jaw has been a place for Sarah to start over, but she hopes to one day move back to Calgary to be closer to her child.
"It would be impossible for me to do that right now," she said. "I can walk down (the street) and see six places where I smoked crack or where I jumped somebody for crack money or got beat up. There are too many triggers all the time, everywhere."
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Katherine: An alcohol and
marijuana user's story
Katherine isn't clean yet, but she's trying.
The 19-year-old from Moose Jaw started stealing her father's beer at age 12 and continued binge drinking and smoking marijuana on a regular basis until the age of 17.
"I tried coke (cocaine) and angel dust (PCP), but alcohol was my drug of choice," she said.
"You can get alcohol from anyone; older guys, anyone walking down the street. Just hang around the liquor store for a bit and someone will buy it for you."
Getting drugs is just as easy, she added.
"You only have to ask between five and 10 people (on the street) and they'll either have it, or know where to get it."
A few trips to jail and watching drugs and alcohol take their toll on friends and family made Katherine realize she wanted to lead a better life.
"I stopped drinking, cold turkey," she said.
"For a while I wouldn't have any alcohol, not even a sip, but now I'm at the point where I can go to the bar with the girls and a have a drink socially."
Katherine is currently in school, attending Personal Choices for counselling and trying to stop smoking marijuana.
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Sue: A mother's story
Sue's family isn't perfect, but they've always had a good life.
She and her husband both worked, shared a loving relationship and took good care of their children.
Her son was an outgoing, happy person in elementary school, but that all changed when he started Grade 9.
He dropped his old group of friends in favour of a new group and became increasingly moody and belligerent.
Sue caught him smoking marijuana once, but thought the problem was over after an argument and a few weeks of grounding.
Not long after, Sue got a call from her son's principal saying he had taken a knife to school.
Her son had become more aggressive, rebellious and eventually ran away from home.
"We thought we were giving him tough love, so we said, 'Go. If you don't like our rules, leave,'" she said.
"I didn't know where he was living most nights. It was very scary."
As days turned into weeks, Sue and her husband went looking for their son.
They eventually found him living in a garden shed with four other young people.
They made three attempts at bringing him home before asking police for help.
"They told us that, because he had just turned 15, they couldn't legally make him come home with us," she said.
"He can't vote, he can't drive, but he could make the decision to live on his own? In a shed? It's ridiculous. I couldn't believe it."
Shortly after Sue's attempts to bring her son home, the owner of the shed kicked him out and he moved into a friend's apartment in downtown Moose Jaw.
She and her husband went to get him and were finally successful.
"He was in rough shape when we went to get him out," she said.
"It's taken a long time to get him to where he is now, and he's still not over it."
Sue's son has been off drugs since April, but still suffers lasting effects such as headaches, depression and paranoia.
"I don't know if he'll ever be the same," she said.
"It makes me sad."

Lacey Sheppy can be reached at 691-1258.


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