I have come to the conclusion my daughter is too smart for potty training.
She knows what the potty is, where the potty is and what the potty is for, but refuses to put her tiny little tush on her potty's plush cush.
Because I was on holidays for the last two weeks, I thought this was the perfect opportunity to get my two-and -a-half-year-old out of diapers and into underwear. Well, she had other plans.
Every day we would get up, discuss the plans for the day, and I would dazzle her with all of the wonderful rewards she would get if she would just learn to use the potty.
First it was treats - candy, chocolate, suckers, anything that I know she loves but doesn't get all that often. And the best part: she was excited to be apart of such a fun, rewarding game.
But as the days went on, I asked her over and over again, "Honey, do you need to use the potty?" Her response was always the same: "No."
But as any parent knows, you can not trust the innocent smile of a two-year-old. And so when I would move in to do a little fact-checking myself, it was immediately clear that, no, was a lie and she had indeed needed to use the potty, but just chose not to.
So, in an effort to stay positive and move forward, we moved on to something else: a backpack.
Don't ask me why, but my daughter is obsessed with backpacks. Everywhere we go she asks for, or comment on how beautiful the backpacks are. So I thought I could use this to my advantage.
"Honey, if you go on the potty today I will go and buy you a backpack, but not just any backpack, a Tinkerbell backpack."
This really seemed to pique some interest, which was evident by the ear-to-ear grin that was painted on her face. However, that too began to fade, and the excitement was gone in half a day.
Within hours, to my disappointment, my sweet princess had again let it go without informing me beforehand, resulting in my hand resting in a warm puddle of pee. I would like to say that this was the first time this has happened, but that too would be a lie.
Beginning to wear on my patience, I decided to take things one step further. I went out, bought the backpack, let her wear it around the mall and then - now, I am going to warn you this next step may seem harsh - when we got home, I took the backpack away and placed it on the island for her to admire. In my head I was thinking, This has to work. She wants that thing so bad she will be running for the potty.
However, again proving me very wrong, she was unfazed by my efforts. Day one, she would ask for it periodically. Day two, she would glance at it in passing, and by day three, she was cool with it just sitting there, even saying her little brother could have it if he wanted.
My time was running out.
I was on my last three days of holidays and I desperately wanted her to go on the potty.
Deciding it was time to show my final card, I pulled out the big guns: Disney. We are taking a Disney vacation in the fall, and I thought that if I could use this small detail, in any way to my advantage, now was the time to do it.
We talked about Disney, who lives at Disney, what we were going to do at Disney and it clicked. Within the hour she was ready to sit on the potty. Needless to say, there was more pee in her pants than in the potty, but I will take it.
This has been an ongoing war for more than six months, and finally, I can see a victory on the horizon, or so I hope.