There’s something about the snow-covered rooftops on houses adorned with festive lights that always makes me wonder — what would Christmas look like if it were a celebration of Star Trek.
Trekmas (which I presume is already celebrated somewhere in some fashion) would be an annual secular celebration of the ideals set out in the Star Trek universe, as best demonstrated through the iconic figures of that reality.
Where Christmas has Jesus, I suppose Trekmas would require someone from Star Trek to serve as its ideal figure — the star of Trekkism.
This is a difficult question to answer: Who is the patriarch or matriarch of Star Trek?
Logically, Spock made the shortlist, what with his dispassionate and super-genius sensibilities, as well as his mind melding, pointy ears and his stoic voice. However, just because Dr. McCoy’s friendly antagonist is super-awesome doesn’t necessarily make him the Star Trek Christ.
Of course, Capt. James T. Kirk is the phaser-slinging, green-chick chasing, man’s man we all adore and, in many ways, it makes since to build Trekmas around him. After all, if Star Trek were a church, then Kirk is the rock upon which that church is built.
His absolute love of adventure and justice certainly makes him appealing in a space cowboy sort of way, and I certainly would place him in the highest stature for any Star Trek-based religion.
However, he seems more to possess the joyful spirit of Star Trek (its optimism and dreams of intergalactic equality and fun), rather than necessarily fitting the description of the ideal Star Trek figure.
Star Trek is as much about the triumph of scientific-based skepticism over intellectual darkness and ignorance, as it is about all the awesome space stuff.
Therefore, I think the key Trekmas figure must be a dispassionate logically-based scientist like Spock, but also a heroic and righteous leader and lover of freedom for sentient beings across the Alpha Quadrant — like Kirk.
In order to find the true patriarch of Star Trek and Trekmas, one must look past the original crew of that glorious starship Enterprise, seeking a heroic figure from a future generation — the Next Generation, in fact.
In my opinion, Capt. Jean-Luc Picard represents the ideal of the Star Trek philosophy and it is his example we should be praising during our festive Trekmas meal consisting of qagh, sásh-sáves and Romulan Ale.
So, what does an annual celebration of The Picard look like? Aside from digesting traditional cuisine from the world of Star Trek (see above paragraph), I would imagine there to be several Trekmas carols about the Battle of Wolf 359, the tragedy on Veridian III and the triumph over Shinzon.
Good Picardians, who could recite the Picard Manoeuvre by memory, would receive replica Horga’hn’s from Risa on Trekmas. Poor Picardians would (as the legend goes) be visited by the ghost of the same Nausicaan who stabbed Picard in the heart.
Instead of a Christmas tree, I envision a replica warp core reactor covered in tinsel and filled with matter-antimatter ribbon candy.
I suppose the annual Trekmas celebration could encompass many elements from the much-loved Star Trek franchise. The true Trekmas miracle, however, would arise from the Star Trek optimism of a better future, and that’s what those recognizing this secular holiday would celebrate more than anything . . . That, and it would be a great opportunity to watch old Star Trek episodes.
Of course, Trekkies wouldn’t be the only nerds able to establish a sci-fi winter festival. Undoubtedly the Star Wars fanatics would have their own celebration, based on Jedi principals (Anakkah).
I imagine, instead of Christmas or Trekmas, the Jedi knight practitioners would perform a highly symbolic interpretation of the battle between light and dark, good and evil, on their holiday.
Jedi winter celebrations would always climax with a ritualistic reinterpretation of the fabled Chosen One returning to the side of Good, out of love for his only son.
Carter Haydu can be reached at 691-1265.
