A conversation the other day brought up the oft-repeated question of whether women are better off today than they were 50 years ago.
The quick answer appears to be “of course”; the thought-about answer, “perhaps”; while the truth of the matter could be somewhere in between, and maybe the answer is none of the above depending on location and circumstance.
As many countries prepare to observe International Women’s Day on Monday, this is always a time for reflection on success and failure, roles won and lost, advances made and regressive steps taken. Where would we be today without the work of women who had a vision so many years ago, took fate into their own hands and demanded their voice be heard in a society that until then put little value on the role of women in the home and in the community.
The struggles those women endured, the fights they fought and won, laid the groundwork for women and girls of this era to surge beyond the restrictions that were placed on their great great grandmothers — at least in North America.
I count myself overwhelmingly fortunate that I was born when I was, into a home where the parents allowed individuality and if you will, some deviation from what might have been considered acceptable choices of behaviour for a girl.
While I had dolls and held tea parties for them, I also had trucks, farm sets, building tools, rode my bike, played at various sports and never did feel all that comfortable in skirts and dresses. At no time was I ever told I should limit myself to traditional female jobs which at that time included teaching, nursing or being a secretary — I might have mastered teaching and secretarial duties but nursing was beyond my imagination to deal with needles and blood.
It wasn’t until I was in the outside world that I realized there were limitations on me because I wasn’t a man.
My starting wage, I learned, was less than the male student hired in another department. I worked nights and weekends. He didn’t.
My charge account at a national retail store had a lower allowable amount than a man of the same age. It was written right there in their informational brochure. That’s likely because men of the same age were being paid more.
When I went to change my name on that charge account after getting married, I found out that my new husband would have the card in his name even though he didn’t want the charge account. The charge limit doubled as soon as his name appeared. The store officials weren’t inclined to see my point of view.
Ditto with the utility companies: Telephone and lights were in my name while I was single and I paid the bills on time. But when it came to setting up accounts after marriage, only husband’s name was allowed on the bills and my refunds for hookup went towards that account, not to me personally.
“Those are the rules,” I was told.
“Unfair and stupid,” I’m sure I responded, but I was docile in those days.
Several years later when I tried to set up a separate bank account in my own name, I was advised I would need my husband to have some kind of oversight on that account. I complained to the female accounts manager and she was quick to establish the account in my name without restriction — a victory for this customer who was learning that equality often comes with a struggle and that a forceful voice is often the most successful.
Since then I have learned to stand up for myself, and other women, when the rules don’t make sense or are unequal in their composition.
That incident may seem trivial in the whole context of International Women’s Day and some of the ground-breaking achievements carried out by women of the previous century.
But I am convinced that every success should be celebrated and shared — today, tomorrow and long into the future. And let’s never forget how lucky we are to live in this country where both women and men can debate inequalities and attempt to come to some resolution.
Joyce Walter can be reached at 691-1259
